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Showing posts from 2014

Goodbye, Bouncy

Typically, this is the blog in which I reflect on my year. It was a rather eventful year, this 2014. But I admit this will be a stark departure from my usual. I can't deny that I have done some big ass, bad ass things this year. I actually RETIRED from my first adult job at age 31! I took a six month vacation then started an even better gig that has already been wicked awesome. I got a SECOND Yukon, yes Gawd, and gas is cheap enough for me to drive *points* that way for as long as I want! Even as I revel in my blessings and successes, I close 2014 at the lowest point I have been in a very long time. Each of those highs were shared with a wonderful friend who left us on December 23rd of this year. When I got that phone call, my world fell into a million pieces. I know it may sound dramatic to say that one loss overshadowed all the victories in El Mundo del Tam..but right now, it does. Imagine listening to a fie ass orchestral piece and then having the strings removed. You may

The Demons We Fight

Not long ago, America found out that one of our favorite comedians and actors allegedly took his own life. Losing Robin Williams today confirmed something I have said for years..we never know the masks that people wear. When people commit suicide, we begin trying to find out answers. We are hurt..shocked..angry..confused. We juggle with emotion because we "don't understand". We try dissecting their lives. We look to those closest. We begin assuming. We go nuts! "Why would Robin Williams kill himself?" We don't know. It's easy to begin judging him because suicide is "taking the easy way out." Have you ever been through a real battle? Have you ever struggled with issues heavier than what to wear Friday night? Do you know what it's like to think death is better than life? No? Yes? Doesn't matter. Don't judge. People these days are truly hurting. We try so hard to keep our problems hidden, which can only complicate matters. Battling

Have You Ever Considered Stifling?

I didn't have a creative way to title this blawg so I just chucked something up thurr. But yes. I just felt like clearing my mind of whimsy about a topic dwelling in my sanctum. Why do people think their opinions HAVE to be interjected? Why are your thoughts so dastardly important that you can't hold your respective mule? Because..somewhere along the way, people lost the ability to practice decorum online. Also, I blames the new era of the interwebs. We didn't have these issues in the Geocities/Blackplanet daze. Speaking fo myself, as I am my best spokesperson, I think before I reply. I has a little list o' things I use to determine if my opinion is necessary. You want to know them. You want to know the list because you like me. Yep. 1. Was my opinion actually asked for? Sometimes, people will ask questions. Like, they'll directly seek a two cent donation because they want or need them. If not, I will operate under the default setting of "they didn't as

Thinking Thoughts and Such

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I really need to do better with my blog, yo. Let me cue my music. I think this is going to be one of those "clearing my mind of whimsy" blogs. Non sequitur than a mug. Don't have high hopes that I will make sense.  This is what happens when I go too long betwixt purging my brain thingy. 1.   We know Lil Kim has inspired some people:  I think when one does answer raps or posts such as "Identity Theft", it makes one seem slick petty.  I know she knows that she has been the source of several female rappers' styles.  Most notably, Ms. Onika has drawn some inspiration from her.  Maybe it's just me, but if I see people out there *in Eddie Kang, Jr voice* "tryna be me", I wouldn't be upset.  I know you emulating me.  YOU know you emulating me.  WE ALL KNOW you emulating me.  I will just sip my tea with a smile and say "awww...look at her trying to get like mama!" 2.   Ebola:   Why you bring that ass to the mainland, son?

So Damn Happy Right Noww

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I'm just going to dance...because the storm is over! GOOD GOD!

So Just What ARE We For?

What are women for? Seriously, I want some legit answers. This question comes because for the last several days, if not weeks, I've seen social media reduce women to being nothing more than carriers for kids and sex toys for horny men. When a woman exercises her entire right and says "no" to sex or any kind of undesired action, she is automatically seen as a "bitch" or a "feminist". I guess if she decides to use that brain of hers, she's breaking the rules. As an avid social media heffer, I know that there are some womenfokes who make it very difficult to see their perspectives. You see a lot of the extremes. You see odd ass statements from women who say that they don't wash themselves frequently, saying "it's my right to forgo deodorant and bathing because I am not doing it to impress you!" Yeap. Saw a post about that on Tumblr. But LORD knows, I digress. When that evil boy in California killed several peo

That Moment You Realize You Needs an Entire Job

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I have nothing else to do sooooo...I'M WRITING A BLAWG! This one hunnerd and something odd day vacation of mine has been spent hovering endlessly on Facebook under the guise of networking.  Truthfully, I've been harvesting reaction photos and laughing at videos of the odd persuasion. Like this: And this: Then I been watching Kermit be shady as hell: Like on this'n: But I applied for a bunch o' jobs though. For true. Well, anyhoo.  I reckons I'll read myself while I'm watching Hoarders.  Nothing makes you feel better about the decision not to hang up clothes than realizing you can still walk around them junts.  Also, it's good to know that you don't have whole animals mating and manifesting under your sleeping thingy. Here's why I need an entire yob: 5.   I done cooked too damn much sheet. When you live on Pinterest, you tend to pin stuff.  I have learned how to make like fifty-leven casseroles, jambalayer, fo' p

Mane, F**k Cancer - a Rant

Cancer has gotten to me again today. The loss of a Panther (JPF Classmate) reminded me of the ugliness of that disease. A daughter lost her dad and a wife became a widow. All because of cancer. I was already raw in the feels after catching up on the second season of Big Freedia and seeing his mom, Vera, in pain due to cancer. A trailer for next week's episode shows what his fans already knew..that cancer claimed another beautiful spirit. Months ago, I watched cancer and chemo take an excited new mom, Jen Arnold, down so bad that she wasn't strong enough physically to enjoy her new daughter. It drove Angelina Jolie to a major surgery as a way to hopefully avoid the same fate her mom met. On a regular human front, I've read so many articles about moms choosing to birth their babies at the expense of their survival. Facebook friends have shared personal battles with cancer. I just reached out to a friend whose mom is fighting. Another friend has a daughter at St. Jude. A

Dig that Moonwalk, Son (EWF Post)

Lord, Bobby Womack Done Left Us

Hello. It's Me (Brief Thought)

Wassup fokes and fam! I just made a whole pitstop to tell you that Kermit's ass has been so petty in the last 24 hours! I'm going to give the other Muppets a job. Stay tuned..

Duggar Thuggin'..

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One of the more random things I've ever been asked in my life was "how in the hell could you like the Duggars?" Apparently, there's this odd little thing in which I'm not allowed to watch reality shows in which the people's lives and backgrounds differ so mightily from my own. Alas, I'll elabo-rate on it while I am awaiting the update of my iTunes. *It's a Family of Humans:  Being that I didn't have the most traditional of family upbringings, I always admired and respected those who were able to have them.  Not saying that my life was in shambles, but I loved seeing togetherness.  I love seeing the teamwork and the connections.  It's really cool seeing the siblings get er done.  Personally, I don't like 19 people in real life, so methinks I would have flipped a table if my mama walked in saying "hey kids, I'm pregnant again".  I'd go apply for early college enrollment far, far aweh. *Buying Used, Saving the Diff

Brother Meeks, You Have Shaken Le Table

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The face you see above is the face of one Jeremy Meeks, a gentleman that NOBODY cared about until a few days ago.  Up until then, mugshots weren't really..you know, like an ad for one of them clothing joints with the sexy people.  When cats like me think o' mugshots, we think of.. and then there's... which reminds me, I have to retwist my hair tonight.  And then we has this.. which ALSO reminds me that I need to get some more avocado oils.  OH, and then.. Yeah.  That's what mugshots usually look like.  Well, unless you's Prince, then you get THIS: *sniff* MOVING ON... So appurrently, the women of the interwebs were blown away by the fact that Jones looks like he came right off a Times Square ad next to Antonio Sabato, Jr.  Truthfully, I think it's FUNNY AS HELL because even some of my more laidback sisters were catcalling like we were at Chippendale's!  Hey, if you think the man is swexy, then make it known, children. Here&#

The Beginning of the 32nd Chapter

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Tomorrow, I will be 32 years old. Typically, I take time to reflect on the activities of the past year as a gift to myself. Each year, I have another reason to have joy. This year, however, I wasn't planning on doing anything for le birthday. I always have made my birthday one of debauchery and fun. Minus the 20th and 30th birthdays, I never really made plans. I just knew what I wanted to do and did it. Period. I would eat, drive, laugh and live. I had my people around me. I had a couple duckets. I lived. The past few weeks had been so turrible, chile. I was super low. I kept dwelling on my failures. I told myself I had nothing to celebrate. What was I celebrating, dammit? I have no job. I HAVE NO JOB. NARY A GIG. NOT A 9 TO 5. So I said that June 11, 2014 was just another day. Kroger would have a new sale on groceries and Netflix binge watching would be on the agender... I meant to say "agender". Then, I rapped a taste with Grandma Judy. I looked on h

I've Thought All Over Myself Again

I'm finna write myself out of my funque. In the meantime, I've decided to share something with you guise. All fourteen people who read my blog when I posteth...I has an announcement. Methinks I've figured out what my desire really is. I have a desire to really help young people. I want to make a difference in someone's life. I want to be one of those who changed someone for the better or helped motivate them to do more. I haven't figured out what capacity just yet, but I want to do something..more. Over 300 job applications have been sent out since February and they've been for some of everything. I've fought furiously to find "The Job"..often reading a description and thinking that THIS is going to be THE gig! I'd look at the shift, the pay, the company...and fall in love. I would confidently submit my info and wait.. ..and wait.. ..and check my spam.. ..and carry my phone everywhere.. ..and hear nothing. I just applied to be

Depressed, Compressed, Oppressed, Suppressed, Damn Pressed.

I been battling depression the last month, yall. I haven't really had any motivation. I've spent the last thuddy days aggressively applying for job after job. I only got on my computer for applying. I've tried everything from receptionist to material handler and nothing has worked. I found myself getting angry. I began getting offended. I channeled my David Ruffin a la Temptations Movie and began yelling "YOU UNGRATEFUL SONS OF BITCHES" at rejection emails. I got bitter. I began feeling the urge to reply to the individuals who told me that "my experience was impressive" but they found someone "whose experience more closely matched" doing exactly what I did at my old gig. I drove up to one place that famously had me waiting FOUR HOURS only to have the owner interview someone who came in later than I did and pass me on to the other admin assistant...and fought the urge to go in and ask for him. Oh yes, children..heffer was GUN hot. Then I r

Thoughts I Think Whilst Unemploy-ed

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I have come to the realization that I am crazy as a bag full of cats. I think it's best that I accept this. I don't know how much of the ebb and flow is due to me not working..and how much is due to me just realizing I'm nuts. Anyways, chile.  I decided to do a little blog therapy to help clear my mind of whimsy.  I've been so sad lately that I find it's time to find that humor in the midst of sadness.  It's a gift that I've found to get me through tough times in my life.  Laugh to keep from crying. Or laugh while I'm crying and do that odd sniveling laughy thingy. *You know what's funny about the whole "you're overqualified" thing?  Telling a mofo who CHOSE to apply for the job that "you're too damn good for this job, and we fear that you're going to break camp as soon as someone offers to pay you more".  Shiiiiid yeah!  You really think I'm going to be like "nah, dun..I don't want $5k more per

Hello, Jive Chaps!

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Hello Saints and Ain'ts! I'm feeling better today, not remotely bad.  I've come to realize that I need not beat myself up this week.  I think I did enough of that last week. And the week befo'. Right now, I'm posted up in the Den of Inequity doing what one does in my situation:  apply for ALL the jobs!  Methinks I've put in for about 50+ jobs.  All the interviews I've had have been dealerships.  Apparently, car lots need humans.  I am a human.  Truth be told, I would much prefer a 9-5, 8-4 or something of the sort.  Alas, I cannot turn down jobs if they pay well.  The market likes to hire people who are already working..instead of people who are NOT working and could thus start working almost immediately. Dumbness. The job market right now is not BAD, but it's really petty in Memphis.  Getting to an interview on your own merit is really rough, but not impossible.  Thus far, trying to get somewhere on my own merit seems to be tough.  I've so

That Brain..That Big, Lowdown, Pink Ass Brain..

Have you ever really taken a moment to think about your brain? Not Pinky & the Brain, just..you know, the brain in your head space. I thought about it.  Maybe because I need a job and have thus taken to Netflix and thinking. The brain controls aspects of our daily living that we probably don't think about.  Each breath, each movement, each blink..all controlled by the brain.  The physical things going on inside that we don't see, the outside things we observe..the brain.  Then, to add further coolness to that odd looking organ of ours, it works even when we aren't DOING anything, because we are actually DOING things.  When we're asleep, our brain is at work.  Wicked, ain't it? If your brain ever decides it's sick of working, that's pretty much it.  You don't get anothern.  You don't get put on a list to wait for a replacement from a donor - living or dead.  It's why we are told to wear helmets when we ride bikes or skate.  Tis why the

Dang, a Heffer is Feeling Low

The last hour or two has been some ol' bull. Sometimes, I have to take to the blog to hash out my feelings.  Hell, I downloaded the Blogger Android app for this one! Shoot. One of my bigger battles this last two months has been with my brain. Ol' girl is still making me see myself as 411 pounds. I look at myself and constantly worry if I'm not small enough. It's as if losing 160 pounds is nothing. My logical side knows that losing a whole human is the business. But that low down ass brain says "you're still fat". Even as I've acquired an entirely new wardrobe, I still see Big Ol' Tam. The fact that my brain has been seeing the Tam from 2012 and earlier is also why I flip flop between "I can't wait to go and have fun" and "stay yo fat ass in the house". I knew that making such a big change would require mental adjustment. That meant that I would have to see food as nutrition instead of therapy. That also meant that I would

A Few Thoughts, Yo

Good morning, people and others. I'd like to share with you a few opinions about a few things.  I shan't be very long, as I think I'm sick or something. *The "Noah" Controversy:  I've mentioned it twice by way of reposts, but I've decided to take a little more time on my little space and tell you how I feels.  I think I need the Caps Lock for this - CALM YOUR RESPECTIVE TITS, PLEASE!  There we go.  First of all, as I mentioned on my Facebook page, you do NOT go to the theaters expecting to find anything accurate about any historical thing.  Biopics, historical romps, period films, etc..all take some kind of liberties in order to make the film better, funnier, shorter or acceptable to the MPAA.  I get that we all expected the tale that we heard all through Sunday School about the man loading Le Ark with two of each animal and whatnot.  It's a story that children raised by Christian parents have heard forever and a day.  Even my kids know about it.

Reverence Me, aka - Feelin Myself

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Liberation...A Lesson in Faith

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I am just over a week into my retirement, and I think it's safe to say that I'm finally starting to enjoy myself! Thing is, I'm not really DOING anything!  Maybe that's why I'm having so much fun! **RECAP** On February 28th, 2014, I retired from my job after 12 years.  Yes, I took a huge leap of faith and left the place I worked since I was 19 years old.  Thus far, I have no regrets and I am very happy that I've done it. There have been some people conveying to me that I shouldn't have done it.  I've gotten the speech about the job market and even a few people spouting the beautimus things about my former employer.  I listen.  I don't even throw slushies at them.  I just realize that, well, some cats can't handle you making a move that they wouldn't make themselves. I told my Grandma Judy that I wished people would understand that I wouldn't do anything that would put my family at risk.  Best believe I consulted the Husband Hal

Wait til I get my money right...

Tamara's Celebration Song!

Tomorrow begins a new phase in my life.  I am nervous, yet excited. So for today, I dance!!!!!!!!!

Guardians of the Galaxy Trailer, aka - More Loot Blown at Malco

Well It Worked for Me...

I reckons being prostrate for two and a half weeks makes a person think a lot. I thought back to my childhood.  All the beauty and such.  I realize that I was among the last generation who was fortunate enough to get the raw, unabridged, unedited childhood before lawsuits and parental drama took away the fun. If'n you haven't experienced a hot metal slide in the summer, you have not truly been a child. Children today have been truly deprived.  Not just because of all the stuff that we did, but because they aren't being allowed to learn life lessons the good old fashioned way.  Whether you had one parent or both was almost irrelevant.  Just having the experience of being a kid in our days taught you a lot.  Truth be told, methinks that I learned more just from being allowed to do it. What I mean is simple: kids aren't even being allowed to be kids. Let me share with you some lessons I learned and how I learn-ed them. *You can't win 'em all:  That was