EarthWindFire82 of Memphis

So many of yall are aboot to flood my Twitter timeline and Facebook home page with a bunch of impending failures for 2011. Yeah, I said it...impending failures. Most of you know these as "New Year's Resolutions". These are often shat upon before it warms up outside, and they really are hilarious. In most cases, the person making the resolution is so serious about this year's change that you almost think they'll make it to Easter...but they don't. Allow me to share with you some common resolutions and my thoughts. Maybe through this program you'll see where you went wrong in choosing your resolution and how you can avoid failure...or at least delay failure to Summer 2011. *The Weight Loss Resolution* This is one of the most common resolutions in history. They are made by so many people that King Jesus doesn't even hold this against you as a lie. He knows that you really thought you'd workout this year, so he gives you a mulligan. After having

Are you tired of traditional four year colleges taking all of your money and leaving you with nothing more than a piece of paper and major debt? Are you sick of all the "Adult Learning Programs" that really DON'T work with your life? Do you want to play sports other than the ones the NCAA regulate to the point of boredom? Well me too dammit! This is why we have the new addition to the LeMoyne Owen College area...The University of Tennemissitucky! Founded in this year, Tennemissitucky is soon to be the newest thorn in the side of the Tennessee Board of Regents..that is if they find out about us in time. The mission of our school is simple: do whatever the hell you want, pay us, then subsequently get the hell out. We don't hold you to unnecessary standards such as "Core Classes" that expire in a few years. Funny how your courses expire...but the student loan debt doesn't... To hell with all that. Here at the U, we cuts to the chase. You majoring