The Beginning of the 32nd Chapter

Tomorrow, I will be 32 years old.

Typically, I take time to reflect on the activities of the past year as a gift to myself. Each year, I have another reason to have joy. This year, however, I wasn't planning on doing anything for le birthday.

I always have made my birthday one of debauchery and fun. Minus the 20th and 30th birthdays, I never really made plans. I just knew what I wanted to do and did it. Period. I would eat, drive, laugh and live. I had my people around me. I had a couple duckets. I lived.

The past few weeks had been so turrible, chile. I was super low. I kept dwelling on my failures. I told myself I had nothing to celebrate. What was I celebrating, dammit? I have no job.



NOT A 9 TO 5.

So I said that June 11, 2014 was just another day. Kroger would have a new sale on groceries and Netflix binge watching would be on the agender...

I meant to say "agender".

Then, I rapped a taste with Grandma Judy.

I looked on her dresser and saw a note that read "Tam's Birthday: June 11, 1982". I messed with her about the note. She then asked what I had planned. When I told her le plans entailed laying listlessly on my left side with a large Chick-Fil-A sweet tea/lemonade split, she frowned.

"You've got too much to be thankful for not to do anything for your birthday!"

"Grandma, I have no job. Jobless fokes needn't spend money celebrating anything."

"You can't allow that to affect your happiness. You are too blessed! You take your day amd do whatever you want. And get with your friends!"

My grandma told me not to let being jobless to affect my happiness. I wasn't quite following it. It was like Luther's curl..wasn't quite turning.

"Grandma. I have applied for 300 spots. I get rejected daily. Nobody wants me. How'n de hell of hells am I supposed to be happy?"

"Because you have been blessed enough to not have to do a damn thing you don't want to do just to survive. Your family is eating, you have everything you NEED. And in due season, the door WILL open. And you'll be able to celebrate even bigger! You shake that devil off and get that depression out of your mind. You're so worried about things that you're letting it run you. I don't celebrate my birthday, but I thank God each year for the ability to still be here."

Grandma did it again. Even as she was still sore from emergency surgery weeks prior, she found the ray of sunshine in the midst of them sorry ass dark clouds.

No. I do NOT have a job yet. But here's what I do have:

I have the ability to walk..even after breaking my hip in January.

I still have my right mind..somehat.

I have a wonderful family..including a husband who supports us without complaint.

I have my dream truck..and the ability to gas it up,

I have natural hair that cooperates now..and all the SheaMoisture a heffer could EVER need.

I have great friends..who have been supportive of me through all my tomfoolery and jackassery.

I have succeeded in stepping out on faith.

I have ALL my teeth..THANKS DR. FRESHWATER!!!

I have a career and I will be starting it soon..wherever it may be.

As I took inventory of these things, I realized I owed it to myself to celebrate and be happy about my impending evolution to Level 32. I had no reason to let one bad situation completely negate the wonderful things going well for me.

So tomorrow, June 11, 2014, I am going to have fun.

I deserve it. Oh, and I also need to celebrate being over 160 pounds smaller than I was when I took this picture 2 years ago.


SheerMocha said…
You have more than 32 things to celebrate! Have a Happy Birthday!

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