Battling Together Alone

*She took a deep breath and looked in the mirror again. Her shape was amazing, but she kept mentally removing the loose skin...again. She's nailed the selfie angles and her most recent makeup work is her best yet. She washes it all off and gets in bed to tell her friends she can't make it because her kids are sick.

*He's a handsome black man with so much to offer the world. Pretty sure he's someone's #MCM. Tall, brilliant, clean cut. Great son. Even better dad. He lays in his bachelor pad and cries. He wants to end it, but worries about the aftermath. He wants to tall about it, but worries about the aftermath.

*Relationship goals, meme-worthy married couple madly in love. Girls are texting their friends saying they want a love like theirs. He worships the ground she walks on. She glows from his love. They're doing the "right thing" and getting themselves together before becoming parents. If only people knew her body was why they weren't parents yet. She's debating a divorce so he has a chance at fatherhood. He wants to be a dad, but doesn't want to pressure her further.

Everyone knows someone like these people. Except for the very first person, I just winged those stories.

I'm the first one.

Every squad has a collection of secret fights and hidden sadness. Funny how the more commonly shared stories in the crew are about previous misadventures, oh and the one about the crazy ex.

But does anyone ever say "y'all, I feel so empty inside" or fear being a Debbie Downer?

When a person says that he or she is depressed, how seriously do we take it? Does it depend on the person?

I never knew how depression crept up into our lives, especially as a COGIC Born black kid from Memphis. It was seen as a spirit that could be cast out. I mean, a little blessed oil and a quick faint...BOOM!

DELIVERT!

But when Pastor Drew passed away after succumbing to injuries sustained from a suicide attempt, people got back to talking about depression. All of the pics people posted were smiling, jovial Drew.

Just like my decades long string of selfies...dimples, teeth, smiles and pain.

Depression is a disease. To me, it's as bad as diabetes, or hypertension. You see, it's expected that one takes meds to manage your physical conditions. Oh, but when I told fokes about Zoloft...

"Why?"

"You don't need that."

"Just change your diet!"

I don't get mad. I shrug it off as lack of knowledge. After all, nobody knew behind makeup, memes and music that I was crumbling into pieces.

So I challenge you today to do at least one of the following:

1. If you're depressed, write down your feels. Even if it's a line or two. Tell that journal what you're not comfortable sharing.

2. Be someone's safe place. Don't play runteldat with what has been shared. Breaking a depressed person's trust can be dangerous.

3. Check on your pastor/preacher friends. As much as I shade them, they are people who can break. They can readily quote scriptures but may hesitate saying "I'm hurting".

4. If you haven't talked to someone in a while, hit them up. A 30-60 second call or two line text will do wonders for a low spirit.

Look, depression is so much beyond a bad day or rough patch. It's your brain attacking you from within. Check your resources and services for mental health centerd. Form a "Check-Up Chain" with friends and fam you know going through.

Let's break the loneliness that depression brings. Don't let another soul lose a fight to the darkness.