Wisdom from the mouth of babes..well, Lex.

I haven't posted any of these in a while, but I think it's long overdue. I would like to share some of Lex's greatest hits and misses for the fam. To my new friends, this is where I share some of Lex's interesting comments. Some of this is too good to keep to myself. My responses are italicized in the midst of an exchange, so you can see why I think she's been here before.

*After a loud crash at Walmart. Ooh, what the hell was that?!?

*Mommy, your toilet is dead. Call the partment people so they won't fix it.

*I can't go to sleep right now, mommy.
Why not?
Because it's going to be morning in a minute anyway.
Well, if you go to sleep, it's going to come here faster!
No it won't. You just saying that to make me go to sleep. You tryna to set me up.

*Call Granny so she can put me out.

*THE DEVIL IS A LIE! (Yes, my child says that now).

*Ma, I want to listen to Bohannon.
I left the Bohannon CD at home, baby.
LORD why did you do that, mommy?

*Tell Christian that RJ stole my sheets.
What sheets?
The one on my bed. I can't find it.
You're laying on it.
Really?
Yes
Well. Don't call Christian then. Wait til he do something wrong.

*It's a monster in my room! Kill it!
Just pray and tell Jesus to make it go away
Jesus KILL IT! Amen

*What you playing, mommy?
Mario Kart
Who bought it for you?
Ralph bought it for my Christmas present
Can I play your GPS when you finish?
GPS? No baby, this is a DS!
No mama, this a GPS so you can get home.

*MA! YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING BUT BEER IN YO FRIGERATOR!

*(At Baskin-Robbins). Yesh, I wanna place a order. I want a this ice cream in a cup with my own bag thank you.

*I'm three years old now? Like, I ain't two no mo?

*Can we watch King of the Hill AND The Oblongs today? I am trying to laugh a lot.

*(At her daycare). Let's not go to school today. Don't go to work either. You sleepy too.

*(In the car). Mommy, put on some music, please.
Okay. How about this song? (I play "Love Lockdown" by Kanye).
That ain't a song! That's rap! Take it back to the sto'!
Alright, well, how about this song? (I switch to "Blue" by Eiffel 65)
They rap on that too. Just play me some Bohannon and I be fine okay?

*This don't match, mama. Yo socks don't match either.

*Ms. Edythe, you work in Mississippi at the seeno. You never take me to the seeno.
Ms. Edythe-well baby, you can't go to the casino with me. It's for grown people
But we go to Paula Deen all the time and I'm not a grown people.

*Ma! I want some eggs, pancakes, sausage and milk!
How about a sandwich?
That don't sound like what I said.

*(Looking at Facebook) That's my Auntie Yo?
Yes
How she get on there?
She has a picture on there
Like you do?
Yeap.
Cool. Where mine? I got a MySpace too?

*You can't do my hair today. The time ain't right.

*(After looking at Gabrielle's performance of "Single Ladies") That ain't Beyonce.
I know. That's Gabrielle
Wow. She gettin' it. I'm going to dance like that now.
Well, dance on baby.
You got some more chicken?
I thought you were going to dance???
I did too. You got some chickens?

*Call my Auntie. I need someone to tell my troubles to.
Really, Lex? Your troubles?
Yeap. I got stuff afoot.
You are three years old. What kind of problems could you have?
I ain't got no GPS and I ain't got no money in my piggybank.
Sorry to hear that, baby

*I told my sister to quit signifying.

*You were in the newspaper. My daddy said he was going to keep it forever.
....not shocked
You got shocked?
No, I said I was not shocked. That's different from getting shocked
Who didn't shock you?
Your daddy
When?
What are you talking about, Lex?
You said you got shocked by my daddy.
No, I said I was not shocked!
What?
I said I was not shocked
My daddy did NOT shock you? So, who shocked you then?
I have not been shocked.
I'll shock you then. I gotta rub my feet on the carpet first, okay?
Leave me alone.
Not til I shock you first...

*Where we sitting at today at church?
Probably in the back by the door.
So you can help me pee when I got to go?
Among other things.
Where the guy with the hair we use to sit by?
(She's referring to John Ford) Oh, he won't be back for a while
He gon' miss the service. Oh well, we take his seat.

Well, that's all for this month. Yeap, all of this was January. I'll leave you with a Christmas gem though:

*Ma! Look what I got! I got a box! Thank you Jesus!
You gon' open the box?
YAY! IT'S SOMETHING IN THE BOX!

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