T.E.N. Report 2/7/08

Welcome to Tam's Entertainment News. I figured I'd get a little ingenious with this whole thing.

First and fo'most, I need a check-in from the Memphis, TN & DeSoto County crews!!! That was one hell of a storm last night, wasn't it? On the serious tip, we lost about 50 lives last night, with four of them in Shelby County. Please keep the victim's families in your prayers.

Also, let's have a moment of silence for the Hickory Ridge Mall and the Taco Bell across the street:

Mmph.

They were the only one to actually get my burrito right!

On to the entertainment.

*Michael Jackson's kids* Here's a picture of two of his kids without the masks. I want someone to tell me that they look just like him. Seriously.

Who be the pappy?

*Brit goes back to the psych ward...and gets out again* Yeah, everyone's favorite Celebutard is officially in and out the psych ward. See, what had happened was..this chick lost her mind again and got put on a "5150 hold" on January 31st, which means that she's to stay in the nut ward for a minimum of 72 hours to see if her Act Rights have returned. If said Act Rights haven't returned, then the stay gets extended up to 14 days. Either way, a doctor said she didn't appear to be a danger to herself, so they let her go home. Let's see how many days it'll be before she's back at the UCLA Psych Ward.

Britney, Britney, Britney. Why Jesus?

*Tyra gives a baby shower* Tyra gave Jessica Alba a baby shower. I was wondering what made her decide to damn do that? I'm sure Jessica can get her own shyte...unless she keeps making these "Good Luck Chuck" ass movies"...

That's really nice...but, really now.

*Brandy's mama sues some Kardashians* Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, and Robert Kardashian Jr. are all in this lawsuit! Sonja Norwood said that Kim was supposed to make ONE purchase on the AmEx card and somehow managed to run it up to $120,000. Sonja said that she didn't want to sue at first because they're close to Brandy and Willie Jr (I mean Ray J). It should be an interesting lawsuit. I mean, Kim can pay it, she has some clothing stores AND a sex tape...which might I add was interesting...

You and yo' mama need to whoops Kim's ass!

*In smart ass kid news...* Courtney Oliver just completed her college coursework and now holds an online certification as a veterinary assistant. I was still riding high off of the fact that I'm gradumating in July with my Business Associates, then this chick done run off and do that there. It's cool though, I don't like veterinary shyte anyway...

I can't knock the hustle though...

*Delta Burke done tweaked* Delta has checked in to a psych ward for depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and hoarding. In other words, she keeps too much shyte that she doesn't need. Mental disorders aren't anything to laugh at if it isn't Britney related, but I can't help but wonder what all did Delta Burke hoard that made her lose her mind???

Bless yo soul.

*Eva Mendes is in rehab* Next up in the rehab files, we have Eva. Obviously, she has a bit of a *whispers* drinking problem. I can't really get much more information, but I think that's aboot it.

Bless yo soul too.

*Karev had issues too* Justin Chambers checked in to the same psych ward that Britney was in for a "sleeping disorder". He's out though. I don't think anything seriously was wrong with him. I think being married to a black woman named Keisha and having five kids kept him awakey-poo.

Don't let it make you no bitch, baby.

*Granny gets busted for hiding Coke in her bra* 62-year-old Henrietta Corvin Daise was arrested for hiding powder cocaine, 20 crack rocks, four grams of powder, weed and $1,000 in her bra during a drug raid. Most of the other cats who got locked up were her grandkids...WHAT SIZE BRA DID THAT OLD BAT WEAR?!?!?

No blessing can save THIS wreck.

*Kirsten Dunst bes in the rehab* Obviously, everybody has decided that it's necessary to get high as hell or drunk as hell then run to rehab. Allegedly, ol girl showed up at rehab drunk as hell! Maybe she was stockpiling for her stay there.

Damn, not you too Mary Jane!!!

*Kirstie Alley sues* I think somebody said something she didn't like. I didn't really read the whole story because something came up about Scientology and I knew right then she got mad and stuff. I'm going to place a quote from my boy Thad's reply to my "Crazy" posting on MySpace:

"If a religious center can have balls, surely this song kicked it in them.

One day, we're all gonna leave the Scientologists alone. Really, the story about the aliens and the galactic war and the ship crash landing on Earth is no less ridiculous than someone expecting me to believe that there's an omnipotent, omniscient being out there who's so self-centered that he created all life in the universe just so it would love him. Doesn't he have anything else better to do, like keeping space from blowing up?

The song was catchy, though. And I expect for you to show up on the news one of these days, with your remains stuffed into the air packets in your Nikes. Scientologists, I don't know her and I had nothing to do with this.

My name is Tony Majestic and I do not support the above message, no matter how hilarious it was."

*coughs*

*Heidi Montag's new song is out* So, I was on People Magazine's site and the reviews are unanimous...it sucks. It sucks like being at the corner store and realizing you're a dollar short. It sucks like having a taste for hot tamales and finding out the tamale man is dead (because that has happened to me before). Being a daredevil, I took a listen. Obviously, when you have money, you can get away with a lot of shyte. She even let her boyfriend Spencer Pratt rap on it. *snorts*

Listen fo yoself. Here's a fan video of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVpPEiGEgNY

There's a point to this woman's survival, but I haven't found it yet.

*Shaq is a Sun, son* Shaq was traded to the Phoenix Suns for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks. I love the Shaq Diesel, but him a little slow. What's up with these lopsided ass trades in the NBA? Can we say, Pau for Kwame Brown and Javaris Crittenton and the rights to Marc Gasol? I swear that's almost as bad as the tamale man being dead.

Time for the Suns to get some of that Shaq-fu!

*Wesley Snipes ALMOST made it* They acquitted Blade for the most serious charges of tax fraud and conspiracy, but they got him on three of six counts of failure to file a tax return. That means that Romello can still end up doing three years in the clink. As if that ain't enough, Noxema just lost his house for being $70,000 behind in taxes. Lien yoself!

Um, it's time to do some more infomercials with Chuck Norris ain't it?

*Katherine McPhee got hitched* Old girl, who's 23 years of age, married her boyfriend of three years. That is all gravy and such...but that sumbitch is 42. Somebody somewhere calls that cradle robbing. I guess love is blind, but love can't ignore the little blue pills he has on the nightstand for the "special moments". Someone tell him that if he gets an erection lasting longer than four hours, he's supposed to contact a medical professional.

Get yo' old man, chick!

*Cause of death for Heath* Heath didn't overdose, nor did he have coke in his system. Basically, he was poisoned by a mixture of medicines in his system. There were six substances in his blood and all of them were prescribed to him. They didn't say which one did it, but he had a sleeping pill, an antidepressant, some pain meds, etc. Fokes really need to be careful with all those meds. Let's be real, we all know someone who takes different meds, but make sure they know what can and cannot be mixed.

It's messed up you had to go out like that though.

*Cause of death for Pimp C* Sizzurp. However, it wasn't in an extreme amount, but he had sleep apnea. I'm glad it wasn't an OD in this case as well.

R.I.P. Sweet James Jones!

and on a lighter note

*My girl done cleaned up!!!* Amy has cleaned up. I know it's early to celebrate, but she was looking quite crackheadesque. That chick has too much talent to die young. Even though it hasn't been long, she looks better already. She's supposed to still be on the Grammy's and I will be watching. If you haven't researched Amy Winehouse and farther than "Rehab", then you're only scratching the surface. This is all I have to say:

"When you walk in the bar
And you're dressed like a star
Rocking your f-me pumps
Then the men notice you
And you're Gucci bag crew
Can't tell who he's lookin' to"

Only the true Wineheads know that part...

I'm not going to sing "Rehab" this time either...

more news to come soon. I got some finals to do by Sunday night. I might actually have to research something other than Wesley Snipes inability to pay taxes even though he's starring in "Gallowwalker" this year. I also need to do more research than finding out that Kirstie Alley has issues. I may need to look up "Living Wills" if I keep verbally pissing on Scientology.