Cancellation Culture and Why We Shan't Cosign

Every 48 to 72 hours, I can gah-raun-tee that SOMEBODY is going to say or do something incorrect. Within a turnaround time of 49 to 73 hours, we will find that human to be cancelled.

Now, except for Logan Paul's mophead ass, I think we need to cease and desist with them tricks.

Show me a person who hasn't said or done something sideways and I'll show you a saptapper so fake that the rain will make it turn colors. Not one person in this realm is 100% accurate. Hell, even I had to fix my face a many times.

One day, I took a moment to read some old blogs and journals. Here's a synopsis of my thoughts and opinions from 10-15 years ago:

*Gays should be okay with civil unions

*Voting is pointless

*Women are responsible for preventing their own sexual assaults

*Get a job and stay at that junt forever

*You can't be confident if you don't like your weight

*Transpeople are confused as gender is binary

Now...had you seen me wax poetically on those bulleted statements, it'd be safe to assume that I was Transphobic, Homophobic, Fatphobic, Misogynistic, and a partridge in a pear tree.

And you'd be well within yo right to quit me...because those thoughts aren't right.

The way Cancellation Culture works is that as soon as a person says or does something that ain't agreeable, you call Sandman Simms on that ass and cut em loose. You may or may not explain to the human as to why they said what they said, but they know you've terminated them.

Real talk, Delegation: if you cancel every single human who ever said or acted contrary, you'd be a lonely saptapper. You would hover on an island of pure, unadulturated solitude with nobody to entertain you but a wayward copy of The Watchtower.

Allow Tam to tell you this juicy tidbit.

Lean in closer...

The most important part is how the person responds to the callout, not that the person never messes up.

Didja get it? I boldfaced that ho for the people in the back.

After sharing my perspective on womenfoke needing to "do better" in avoiding sexual assault, methinks my drag was so long, they thought Jason Voorhies had my ass by the cankle. The reactions ranged from calm acknowledgement to the "bitch, are you fucking nuts" level call out. I defended my standpoint respectfully until one person took to my inbox.

"Why do you feel that way?"

Matter of factly, I said "it's not right for men to violate women, but we need to make it tougher for them."

"When you followed with 'but', you negated everything you just said."

Over a period of a few days, she put me up on game. She was strong, yet polite. Never did she disrespect me, nor did she publicly tear me apart. All I could muster was "I'm so sorry".

To say I felt like a cad is an understatement. From the last day of our convo to now, I try to be more mindful of what I say and who my words can affect.

And I didn't delete the post.

Every so many months, I get a comment about it. Calmly, I reply "I don't feel this way at all anymore. I've grown since then."

Those old posts filled with narrowminded ignorance will never disappear because I love seeing my evolution. Besides, I refuse to play "Deadass Woke" when I missed the first two alarms.

Fortunately for me, I didn't get cancelled by my close members of the Delegation. Especially the queer women of color who I befriend. One of my lesbian buddies clarified so much to me that I coulda sworn I owed her tuition, mane! LOL! She didn't wash her hands with me. And I thank her for the schooling.

We have to get beyond this need to chop someone at first error. How much time and energy would it take to explain the better way? Even if you're mad as a wet hen and need to gather your thoughts and snatch an edge or three, do so then help in the healing and education.

There will be plenty of instances where you will encounter some sumbitch who prefers to bask all in the wrongness. You could pull a full John Urchitel and get the whiteboard and they STILL ain't talmbout shit.

Now THAT, my Delegation, is when you cancel.

Family, friends, coworkers, the yard mane, you name it, will most likely line step. Your job isn't to prevent habitual line stepping. Your job is to get the bastard back on the straight and narrow.

If you find yoself at the point where you want to cancel someone, use this checklist.

1. Is this the first mistake the person has ever made?

2. How is the person reacting to my call out?

3. If they're trying to change for the better, is this effort consistent in public AND private?

4. Are you calm about the discussion?

5. If cancellation is absolutely imminent, are you doing so due to this violation or do you have receipts?

In closing, please consider helping one another navigate this crazy, mixed up world. We don't need a gang of foke cutting a shine at the intersections.

The doors of the chuuch is open! Is there not one?