The Frayser 90, or as I say, the Frayser 180...(or 178)


I don't think I'll have to provide much backup in explaining what the title of my blog is referring to. To those who aren't sure, Frayser High School has made news for having 90 pregnant students.

Ninety. Like ten less than a hunnerd.

Apparently, this story has made its way around the country and has caused quite a stir amongst everyone in the area. The heat and attention led to Kriner Cash making some kind of lie about there being a program. There is debate about the existence of said program for pregnant fokes, but either way, there is indeed a problem. Well, several. Allow me to share.

*First and foremost, there aren't 90 pregnant students, it should be 180 pregnant students. That is the biggest problem for me. It goes back to society's tendency to place the blame and worry in the laps of the mothers. She didn't turkey baste herself, did she? Since I first heard about this issue, so much emphasis has been placed on the young ladies. Nobody seems to ask about the boys who impregnated the girls. Do they not matter? Have we not avoided the double standard? I guess we haven't. Babies are the responsibilities of both parents, regardless of the age. Whether 13 or 30, if you planted the seed, you care for that seed.

*The parents are responsible for their children, but don't be foolish. It is my job as a mother to raise my daughter. I can teach her about sex, boys, and self esteem. Her father can warn her about boys and threaten to shoot any one that hurts her. Her uncles and brothers can line up in a gauntlet on a porch on her prom night and instill the fine art of attempted murder in her date's mind. I can give her a 9pm curfew, watch every place she goes, chaperon her, put her in extracurricular activities, and drag her to every church service. But whatever is inside will come out. I know of many deeply religious parents who became grandparents while their babies were teens. Even situations have emerged where the parents tried allowing the boyfriend to visit while they are home. That doesn't always work either. Kids have a wonderful way of rebelling, and don't be blind to that truth. Why do you think there are so many "I can't believe she would do that" types on TV?

*Schools can't get away with teaching Sex Ed once a year and call it enlightenment. Sex is not a once a year issue. On a daily basis, kids are being bombarded by sex. They need to be educated. Some people believe that simply saying "don't have sex until you're married" will suffice. When your daughter is "in love" and her "boo thang" is talking those sweet nothings that are melting her eardrum, do you think she's going to remember "don't have sex"? Some girls do. But for those who think it's real love, she'll place her trust in that young man because he most likely told her that she was special. Schools can't get away with a few hours of STD pictures and banana nut condoms. They need to educate these kids on the mental, emotional, financial, and physical aspects of sex. They don't know that sex doesn't really GIVE you any power. It takes it away. Even if a chick thinks that she's "putting it on him", she'll be shocked to see her hard work on cell phone cameras all over the school. If these kids had to treat every sex partner like a future baby's mama/daddy, they'd likely walk away quickly.

*Parents can't teach what they don't know. Many parents aren't exactly capable of teaching their children about sex. Not every parent is cut out for it. There are always arguments that "it isn't the schools' job to teach your kids about sex". Well, for several hours a day, they are in charge of educating these kids. Instead of constantly getting up in arms and blaming parents, what about those who don't know what to do or say? As a parent, I admit that I have asked for help with my children because sometimes I don't know what to do. Some parents can't swallow their pride enough to ask for help. Then, there are the renegades who don't even care. But what do you think a 16 year old can learn from her 31 year old mother? She may see her mom as a cautionary tale, but what if she really doesn't? What about her 47 year old Granny? Apparently, somebody missed the memo.

*Again I ask, what about the boys? While these girls are nationwide stories, these boys are likely busy ignoring the "Late Texts". Why isn't there focus on programs for young dads? These boys get to run off and do whatever while the baby and mom are in line at WIC??? Oh hells no! Even when I watch "16 & Pregnant", I was bothered when one young man's family encouraged him to get a paternity test because he had such a promising football scholarship. What made them think that young girl didn't have potential for greatness??? Why do the girls have to let themselves go straight to hell while the boys get to deny? Society should be ashamed of allowing such BS. We wonder why our kids are so lost? Because we coddle these boys, then they grow up into sorry ass men. Those sorry ass men beget more sorry ass men. Mama can do a hell of a lot, but she's never been a man...


Sorry, I'm back.

*Remember that it takes a village to raise a child. What can parents do when they have to work in order to provide a roof over their kids' heads? Not every parent of a pregnant child is a trifling piece of crap. As a concerned neighbor, why not alert the parent when you see someone sneaking in to the house while they're at work? Ah, because we've discouraged it. Many Black parents want to handle things without help and tell people to "let me handle my child". But, how can you solve a problem if you don't know what it is? Work with the teachers...not against them. Yeah, she leaves your car in the morning in a uniform, but how does she look at school? One day of hanging outside CHS a few months back let me FURTHER know the proverbial shit has hit the fan. I saw girls we damn near see through white shirts with leopard bras showing. I saw skin tight khakis and thongs showing. Nobody sees this? I was there 20 minutes and saw nothing but hyper-sexed girls and horny ass boys. Which brings me to the last of my rant...

*..teach these girls how to value themselves. Tell them that the power is in what they DO NOT do. A boy will beg, borrow, steal, lie, cheat and get a girl. She needs to know that she's the prize that he wants. HE wants HER! Implant in her mind that he most likely wouldn't even wash his ass if he didn't want to attract a girl! Tell her that she should understand that he wants to be able to brag about having her, and she shouldn't allow him that power. If daddy ain't there, let her know what doesn't mean she has to go look for a replacement. Love her, care for her, show her concern, uplift her, and be strong for her. Let her know that self esteem comes from within and it shouldn't wane because of a man. She's going to be curious, and that's natural. But let her know that wait is damn well worth it...annnd sometimes it ain't! LMAO! But tell her that the best sex comes when there are no worries about raising babies, catching STD's, being busted and most of all, when you're really in love. Or emphasize that it's pretty awesome when you are grown as hell. No one wants to make her a Saint, but it's about making wise decisions.

Now, if we can start some of these steps, maybe we can save a few girls here or there. It's sad that it's come to this, but nobody can act like they didn't see it coming. Our kids are growing up too fast and we can't get mad after the fact. We should have been caring about them before World Star Hip Hop made this public.


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