So Yeah..Self-Acceptance..You Kinda Need That
If I haven't learned sheet else, I learned that I have got to accept myself. I have to be the one happiest for the things I'm doing for myself because honestly, tis some salty mofos out here. You can't please errbody and you can't make errbody happy. This isn't a NEW thing, but it's something that I get reminded of almost every single day.
My latest reminder of self-acceptance came by way of reading several posts from members of the Size Acceptance community. I've been an avid fan of that community for a few months now, mainly because these were big, beautiful ladies (and handsome men) saying "I am what I am, and you should respect that". I agreed with so many posts telling us that we should not be ashamed to be fat. We need not be forced to be skinny in order to live, love and exist. We aren't lazy, disgusting, and you can't decide what we are or aren't based solely upon the size of my ass. I mean...how could I NOT cosign to this?
Alas, then we get to the few members who make me realize that the battle is never over. I read a blog post by a chica who stated that she wished she had never caved in to pressure and had lap band surgery. In spite of my support of weight loss surgery (WLS), I do agree that nobody should ever force you into thinking you need this surgery. I was completely okay with that blog (hell, even if I wasn't okay, it's her damn blog) until I looked in her comments. One poster mentioned that she fought the pressure to have surgery and lost about 80 pounds on her own. The blogger said "congratulations on your weight loss, but this isn't the place to talk about weight loss". While the statement was not offensive, it was but one of several that I've read over the months that unsettled me.
I've seen Size Acceptance bloggers (and commenters) wax poetically about their disdain for "butchering" (weight loss surgery) and even "pity" those who choose to do so. It disturbed me because I kept thinking that these ladies were telling me to love myself fat (which is cool) but being condescending-poo towards those who felt the need to change. These ladies are 100% correct when they say that you shouldn't have to be skinny to eat well, live fabulously, dance, find love, make a great living, raise a family or just damn exist. But then their positivity turned into some foulness all because a person decides to change.
I think of my life...growing up fat and existing amongst people who 1) teased me because I was fat, 2) offered unsolicited "weight loss advice", 3) gave me warnings about what all I wouldn't be able to do fat and/or 4) wouldn't befriend me publically because they didn't want to be seen being my friend. I flash back to the clicques of Skinny Beautiful People who did not bother to know/like/appreciate me because I was fat...and how they seemed to remind me often that I wasn't like them. Now, I think of some of these Size Acceptance bloggers and they seem to be the clicque of Fat Beautiful People who don't bother to know/like/appreciate me because I'm losing weight. Ostracized by both groups...not enough for one...too much for the other. Damn. I guess it never ends.
What I have yet to see in the midst of my travels around the Size Acceptance Community is a blogger or commenter who seems to have an open mind about shit. Like..the one who loves herself (or himself) fat and lives well, but would never judge another fat person for losing weight if they felt they needed to. I remember a commenter saying she needed a knee replaced but her doctor would not perform the surgery unless she lost 50 pounds. People replied to her saying "GET ANOTHER DOCTOR" or "THAT'S MALPRACTICE" and I kept wondering why no one simply supported her enough to encourage her to do what she needed to do. Granted, I know some medical professionals can be shady and tend to discuss your weight even in non weight related issues. I remember a Nurse Practitioner telling me I needed to lose weight. I responded with "hot damn...you mean I'm FAT! Well, how about you treat me for this pink eye and let me handle my weight".
Yeap. I went about pink eye and the sumbitch told me to lose weight.
Now THOSE type o' fokes need to be blasted. That's not all...I saw a reply to a lady with hypertension that said "if your doctor tells you to lose weight due to that, then you should go on TV and expose him. You are more than your weight and you don't have to change". Thing is...she wanted to lose about 40 pounds so she could get off meds. I kinda hope she made her own decision and not one based on some of those commenters.
Diseases are not restricted to the fat...and trust me, I know. I was a biggun myself and all I had were bad feet. I had friends way smaller battling so many ailments. It does go to show that weight is NOT always the issue with disease. However, if your doc says drop 20 pounds to live a little more comfortably, why would you go into a shitfit and scream about Size Acceptance? Or why would you roast someone who decided to do so. Why not do what it takes for YOU to live your best life and love yourself in the process?! Yes, there may be a 300 pound woman who can jog 5 miles a day without issue, but there may be a 250 pound woman facing disability due to her weight. As a community, why not support whatever decision that a person makes to be happy?
I'm certain there are some bloggers who are a lot less "all or nothing". Maybe I just ran across some very fanatical people...and I do know that almost any community (LGBT, Christian, Rich, Democratic, etc.) has its fair share of fanaticals whose actions override the group's cause. Maybe that's why it's best to have your own views of what is best for you.
If you accept yourself, then you won't be swayed or conflicted. In my case, I know what I needed to do and why. I don't regret it. I know of sooooo many people who have lost weight and feel great. I know many who are just fine as they are and feel great. My view is that you have to do you. In the end, your happiness is what matters most.
Float on then.
My latest reminder of self-acceptance came by way of reading several posts from members of the Size Acceptance community. I've been an avid fan of that community for a few months now, mainly because these were big, beautiful ladies (and handsome men) saying "I am what I am, and you should respect that". I agreed with so many posts telling us that we should not be ashamed to be fat. We need not be forced to be skinny in order to live, love and exist. We aren't lazy, disgusting, and you can't decide what we are or aren't based solely upon the size of my ass. I mean...how could I NOT cosign to this?
Alas, then we get to the few members who make me realize that the battle is never over. I read a blog post by a chica who stated that she wished she had never caved in to pressure and had lap band surgery. In spite of my support of weight loss surgery (WLS), I do agree that nobody should ever force you into thinking you need this surgery. I was completely okay with that blog (hell, even if I wasn't okay, it's her damn blog) until I looked in her comments. One poster mentioned that she fought the pressure to have surgery and lost about 80 pounds on her own. The blogger said "congratulations on your weight loss, but this isn't the place to talk about weight loss". While the statement was not offensive, it was but one of several that I've read over the months that unsettled me.
I've seen Size Acceptance bloggers (and commenters) wax poetically about their disdain for "butchering" (weight loss surgery) and even "pity" those who choose to do so. It disturbed me because I kept thinking that these ladies were telling me to love myself fat (which is cool) but being condescending-poo towards those who felt the need to change. These ladies are 100% correct when they say that you shouldn't have to be skinny to eat well, live fabulously, dance, find love, make a great living, raise a family or just damn exist. But then their positivity turned into some foulness all because a person decides to change.
I think of my life...growing up fat and existing amongst people who 1) teased me because I was fat, 2) offered unsolicited "weight loss advice", 3) gave me warnings about what all I wouldn't be able to do fat and/or 4) wouldn't befriend me publically because they didn't want to be seen being my friend. I flash back to the clicques of Skinny Beautiful People who did not bother to know/like/appreciate me because I was fat...and how they seemed to remind me often that I wasn't like them. Now, I think of some of these Size Acceptance bloggers and they seem to be the clicque of Fat Beautiful People who don't bother to know/like/appreciate me because I'm losing weight. Ostracized by both groups...not enough for one...too much for the other. Damn. I guess it never ends.
What I have yet to see in the midst of my travels around the Size Acceptance Community is a blogger or commenter who seems to have an open mind about shit. Like..the one who loves herself (or himself) fat and lives well, but would never judge another fat person for losing weight if they felt they needed to. I remember a commenter saying she needed a knee replaced but her doctor would not perform the surgery unless she lost 50 pounds. People replied to her saying "GET ANOTHER DOCTOR" or "THAT'S MALPRACTICE" and I kept wondering why no one simply supported her enough to encourage her to do what she needed to do. Granted, I know some medical professionals can be shady and tend to discuss your weight even in non weight related issues. I remember a Nurse Practitioner telling me I needed to lose weight. I responded with "hot damn...you mean I'm FAT! Well, how about you treat me for this pink eye and let me handle my weight".
Yeap. I went about pink eye and the sumbitch told me to lose weight.
Now THOSE type o' fokes need to be blasted. That's not all...I saw a reply to a lady with hypertension that said "if your doctor tells you to lose weight due to that, then you should go on TV and expose him. You are more than your weight and you don't have to change". Thing is...she wanted to lose about 40 pounds so she could get off meds. I kinda hope she made her own decision and not one based on some of those commenters.
Diseases are not restricted to the fat...and trust me, I know. I was a biggun myself and all I had were bad feet. I had friends way smaller battling so many ailments. It does go to show that weight is NOT always the issue with disease. However, if your doc says drop 20 pounds to live a little more comfortably, why would you go into a shitfit and scream about Size Acceptance? Or why would you roast someone who decided to do so. Why not do what it takes for YOU to live your best life and love yourself in the process?! Yes, there may be a 300 pound woman who can jog 5 miles a day without issue, but there may be a 250 pound woman facing disability due to her weight. As a community, why not support whatever decision that a person makes to be happy?
I'm certain there are some bloggers who are a lot less "all or nothing". Maybe I just ran across some very fanatical people...and I do know that almost any community (LGBT, Christian, Rich, Democratic, etc.) has its fair share of fanaticals whose actions override the group's cause. Maybe that's why it's best to have your own views of what is best for you.
If you accept yourself, then you won't be swayed or conflicted. In my case, I know what I needed to do and why. I don't regret it. I know of sooooo many people who have lost weight and feel great. I know many who are just fine as they are and feel great. My view is that you have to do you. In the end, your happiness is what matters most.
Float on then.
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