From the Depths of the Sea...a blog

Salutations!

Greetings!

Hello!

What it DEW?!?

Now that I've introduced myself, I guess I can tell you all my weekly two cents about stuff that I have read, seen or ran over while listening to Ray Parker Jr.

(Moment of Silence for that bird).

Okay, now that we got THAT shyte out the way, here's some interesting stuff...

*An article inquired about why the Simpson Sisters catch so much hell* I may not have run out and bought all of their albums, but I think it's obvious why they can't catch a break. We ALL know what the hell happened to Ashlee (hello? Como se dice "Saturday Night Live" lip sync?). Both of them have high profile relationships and then there's their dad who has no hobbies outside of their careers. Poor Jessica's movie "Blonde Ambition" averaged $48 per screen on December 22, 2007 for a total box office of $384. That means more people saw "Pootie Tang". Sa da tay!




I actually kind of like them...oddly. If they were drunken slutwhores then they'd be more marketable...



*Barbaro gets a monument...* These good, rich fokes are actually going to put this damn horse's ashes and a bronze statue in front of Churchill Downs. My FIRST issue is the fact they cremated this sumbitch. SECOND of all, he gets a statue. I'm done with THAT one.




Yall are actually discussion a dead damn horse!!! Where's the monument for Lou Rawls? What about James Brown? Dammit, what about Gerald Levert?



*Britney sits on a curb* She got mad at the dude she was riding with and said "let me out". You see where the hell she's sitting, right? Riiiight.




Exactly...sit yo crazy ass on that curb until you get your Act Rights back.



*Gwen Stefani be pregnant again* If it's a girl, I think her hair will be dyed pink before age two. I like Gwen and her Asian roadies!




Congratulations!



*Nickelodeon pulled an okey-doke* Guess who's show is back on the air??? That's right, "Zoey 101" is back with 5.7 million viewers! I don't really give a damn, but I think that this move will likely piss of a lot of parents. However, I'm sure that Nick was more focused on the financial aspect of this situation. I will credit them with the innate ability to let things blow over. See, that's why I still watch them when I'm at someone's house with cable.




You still pregnant and your sister is still crazy as cat shyte. Bless your seed's soul!



I still think they need to bring "Pinwheel" back, dammit.




Don't act like you don't know!



*Jeff Jordan states the obvious* India Arie is not her hair and he is not his daddy. Jeff averages 4.2 minutes per game and has made just three shots all season. That is okay though. Dude had to settle for joining Illinois as a walk on and on an academic scholarship. Boo-hoo, he's only smart. What a rough life ahead of him for just being intelligent...(please note the sarcasm).




At least he's honest about not being like his daddy.


Uh, oh. My part of the song is coming up...

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ahh
Illusion
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ahh
Illusion
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ahh
Illusion
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ahh
COULD IT BE THAT
It's just an illusion
COULD IT BE THAT
In all this confusion
COULD IT BE THAT
It's just an illusion
Nooooowwww.....




Don't act like you ain't heard "Just an Illusion" by Imagination!!!



*Wyclef said something's wrong with Lauryn* Well, this picture doesn't help us dispute that. Basically, 'Clef said that she needs some mental help. I agree. I mean, she is allegedly pregnant with Rohan Marley's fifth child.

That's right, one, two, three, four FIF!




GASP! Come back to us Lauryn! Silence these broads with no singing voice!!!



*Tom Cruise gets a motorcycle* This outspoken follower of Scientolo-jism is getting the first of only 1,500 Ducati Desmosedici RR motorcycles. This $72,500 sumbitch goes up to 200 miles per hour and is made with titanium in the style of the racing bikes.





Sexy motorcycle...for a damn fool.



*We have allegedly found out the names of J.lo's alleged twins* The names of J.Lo and the Muskrat's alleged twins are Max and Emme...

I am let down.





At least she's pretty and in love and such.



*Sean Young joins the rehab coalition* So check this out...Sean Young's 48 year old, drunk ass acted a fool at an award show and got carried the hell out. Now she's in rehab battling Alcohol addiction. You know, I'm starting to think that a bunch of these celebrities are only going to rehab in order to get attention. This fool was heckling a dude who was getting his Director's Guild Awards and then within two days, she's in the 'hab. You may remember her from "No Way Out" and "Blade Runner". Still don't remember her? That's why she's in rehab, because we forgot her...




Jackass.



and last but not damn least...

*China unveils the "WaterCube" for the 2008 Olympics* I only felt the need to mention this because it looks like blue bubble wrap. I like blue. I like bubble wrap. I just want to sit with "Fantasy" by Earth Wind and Fire blaring in my headphones and pop each bubble on that building. I'm going to Kinko's and use my FedEx discount to get some bubble wrap Friday...





Oooooooh....

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