T.E.N. Sports Pages, aka-Tam Picks U of M Coach Contenders

Hey fokes, since people are all worried about who's going to coach the Tiger Basketball team, I'm going to help pick some options. Apparently, nobody else can do it.

*Bobby Knight* Nothing fills up the FedEx Forum like flying chairs.

*Magic Johnson* He knows how to play basketball, manage business affairs and talk slowly enough for some people to understand.

*Isaiah Thomas* In the South, some women don't file sexual harassment charges, they just get pregnant by you and take your ass to 616 Adams...

*Pat "Head" Summit* She has proven time and time again that she can get championships won, seats filled, and 6 foot tall bohemoths running. Who could POSSIBLY be better?!?

*Ric Flair* WHOO! That is all.

*Tony Dungy* Hmm? What you say? He coached football?!? Well, U of M needs his ass too.

*Verties Sails, II* Why not?

*Hubie Brown* *snorts*

*Lorenzen Wright* He knows the game, and he wears such nice sweaters!

*Cotton Fitzsimmons* He coached the Phoenix Suns and won Coach of the Year for the 78-79 season. Oh, he's dead? Well, if you said he was coming to the FedEx Forum, TELL me you couldn't fill no seats!

*Kermit Washington* Dude needs a job. I mean, he hasn't been gainfully employed since cutting a shine on Rudy Tomjanovich. At least we know won't nobody test his nuts...

*Allie-Ollie Woodson* It just sounds nice. Besides, if any other Temptations die, he'll need a job.

*Bo Outlaw* Um, he...well, he played basketball. That's enough.

*Jake Ford* With the last name Ford, he can do what he wants in Memphis.

*Any Coach with a Nickname* Coaches with nicknames are special. Doc, Cotton, etc.

Well, that's all I got for now. If you can think of other options, then let me know. I won't be doing anything this afternoon.


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