EarthWindFire82 of Memphis

I don't really have much to say that could make people feel better about losing Karen.  There isn't a particular scripture, poem, prayer or song that can take away the hurt that her loved ones and friends have felt over the past week.  I saw the status posts of people praying and asking us all to keep our eyes peeled.  I joined a group of people who never let up believing that she would be okay.  You kinda hoped that she just ran off somewhere...that way people who cared could fuss at her when she got home. You just hoped she made it home. I'm angry as hell.  I was sad when she was reported missing...but I became angry as I read the confirmation of her death.  My hands were cold as ice, but I was too angry to cry.  I selfishly hoped that this wasn't her...but then I had to catch myself and remember that someone lost a loved one in that river.  Even if it wasn't Karen, it was someone's daughter.  It's safe to say I would be angry either wa...

I didn't realize that there was so much shade thrown when people lose weight.  Like, I knew aboot the shade that comes from people who want you to stay as you are.  However, I didn't really notice how fokes get about the 1) amount of weight you lost and 2) how you lost the weight. I have had a few non-medical cats ask me how much weight I aimed to lose.  I told them the honest truth, which was "hell, I don't know".  It was debated that I needed to have a set goal in mind for some reason along the lines of some shit.  I simply decided that I would lose as much weight as I needed to get to my desired size, which was around size 14.  That was a size in which I could shop at a gang of stores and also one that I hadn't been in a many moons. "You aren't aiming low enough" saith a bastard. "I'm aiming for what I want" saith myself. "Well, I guess it's okay to set a low goal so you won't end up disappointed". ...

I'm going to say that this is one of those blogs in which I prolly border on vulnerable and angry as hell.  MAYBE it has to do with me being a Gemini.  Could be that I'm going crazy as a bag full of cats.  This is why I blog...because I needs to talk and fokes be all busy doing adult stuff like..mopping. Being fat in a society in which bullying is condoned makes life very difficult.  It takes a certain degree of confidence to simply function because people really think that it's perfectly excuseable to treat you differently because you aren't of average weight..or the weight THEY think you need to be.  I know so many people saw that and started into their "boo hoo, cry me a fatass river.  Fatty is sad because people think she needs to be smaller".  Yes, people really do treat you that way.  When people who are overweight demand to be respected and treated like a human REGARDLESS of their current size, there are always people who simply say "no"....

First of all, Roger Ebert is a movie critic. Get it? Got it? Good. MOVIN' ON. I posted a status today about feeling some kind of way.  I had basically spent a few days pondering over the comments made by people on this journey, and today I officially decided to deal with them. The latest comment was someone who "couldn't see" where I had lost 40 pounds.  I'm already fighting my own damn mind on a daily basis, then I hear something like that and end up for real analyzing... I first had to ask what does a forty pound weight loss look like? Is there, like, a gauge for a fat kid's 40 pound drop?  I mean, seriously..is there a key I can use to determine what it looks like?  Well..THIS is 40 pounds: So I lost THIS much. However, it apparently doesn't LOOK like I left this weight somewhere.  Now, I can feel that I'm doing better...and some of my once fitted shirts are now street legal.  So yeah, it IS coming off of something.  Still...