T.E.N. Rants, Thoughts, Perceptions & Such

Aight people and others, I got things to share. Go get some chicken, paper plates, hot sauce and a napkin and join me at the kitchen table.

I cannot guarantee that these will not be non sequitur, nor can I guarantee that I didn't have a pee run while typing this. I can only guarantee that they will be my thoughts and that they may be on sale soon at your local Hattie's Tamales.

*So a study said that kids who were spanked have higher likelihood of being violent. Well, as I've always said, you don't spank a kid when YOU are pissed, but once you've cooled yoself down. The purpose of said action is a last resort in discipline, not a way to displace your anger and embarrassment. Besides, out of 1,000+ FB friends, I'm sure a great number of kids were spanked before. None of us aggressively run over armadillos or punch cacti, now DO we?

*Santonio Holmes was traded to the Jets for $35 and a 6 month subscription to Xbox Live. THEN he starts the season off on a 4 game suspension.

*The news reports that there is a high pollen count around heah that may make conditions miserable for fokes around the area. Had they never reported this, I would have never known. That massive green covering over The Cobalt wasn't the Hulk's dandruff flakes after all. Besides, Hulky uses Head and Shoulders. His hair is luxurious. I said it with my eyes.

*Thad has a job.

*Being pregnant this time around means that I am likely to lose 3% more of my mind than usual. They say that each pregnancy is different, and this one is COMPLETELY different than Lexicon's. The 2005 Round of Fat & Happy was mighty peaceful, yet Lex came up to be an odd chatterbox with an impeccable appetite for fashion and chicken. Sooo, this 2010 Round means that CJ may come out..well, an odd chatterbox with an impeccable appetite for..chicken? I don't know. Hell. I just want him healthy and here. Lex and I will stare at him for a few hours when he gets here.

*We having a Baby Shower 7/10/10, Lord Willing. It will NOT be gay. No clothespins, dammit!

*I got a letter from Chevrolet that loosely translates to "we know your Cobalt can't make sharp turns. This letter is to tell you we gon' send you a letter to tell you when we gon' fix it." Yeah...that bites.

*I will buy a quarter tank o' gas for the first person who can whoops me up some shwimp, chicken, beef or Oriental Ramen...al dente, well drained, with light seasoning. If you use 93 Octane, that is to be reduced to an eighth of a tank.

*Speaking of an eighth of a tank, where is MC Eiht?

*The reasons why singers nowadays lack the grit and intensity of David Ruffin and Teddy P is because men drink Nuvo. Ruffin drank Cognac...STRAIGHT!

*Two-Faced is the new Black, apparently.

*It was brought to my 'tension that I don't have any pics of myself in my 21.2 week pregnant state. This is because I've been falling asleep while trying to take said photos. That or I'm eating. If not those then I'm in the car on the way home to sleep or eat. I like potatoes. Anyhoo, I'm also plotting the perfect angle to take said photo because I was fat before I conceiv-ed. So, I'm like..hmm..how can I bring 'tension to the belly? As of the time of this writing, I have come up with a solution...*nods*

......wakes up......

*I love smothered pork chops and spinach casserole from Patrick's. Donations welcomed.

*If you haven't seen the videos for "This Too Shall Pass" by Ok Go, you should. They are some interesting videos. One has them as a part of a marching band and they're performing the song with some college, and the othern is a Rube Goldberg machine with one continuous shot. Damn you, I have no hobbies.

*If you need a hobby and have time to kill, make a run to 201 Poplar. There, you will see the latest trends in fashion and outright hoodrattery. I've also come to realize that a clause in the employment contract for 78% of the jobs there is "must be capable of treating adults like 4 year olds at all time. Any instances of treating the patrons with respect and humility will be punishable by suspension".

*I've realized that "Sailing" by Christopher Cross is a hot song, period. Almost 3,134 people have remade it, and I love every version I've heard thus far.

*I want a Nekkid Mole Rat so I can name it Rufus.

*Apparently, minorities aren't returning the Census forms. I think you're supposed to do it. If you don't want to get Jehovah's Witnessed by some random person, mail that bad boy back in.

*Conan O'Brien tweeted: "The good news: I will be doing a show on TBS starting in November! The bad news: I'll be playing Rudy on the all new Cosby Show. In three months I've gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I'm headed to basic cable..my plan is working perfectly". I'm giddy for ol' boy. Now, if I could subdue my drawl enough to say his name properly...

*Aight, fokes are really hating on Kate Gosselin. Let me gwone break this down in simple terms for choo: You may be sick of seeing her face everywhere, but would you rather see her face errwhere or in the line at DHS trying to cop goverment help on our dimes? No disrespect to those receiving assistance, but if Kate has a way to make ends without endangering her Seeds, let her hustle! You know she can't go slang boxes at the Hub and make enough ends to feed the Seed! And Jon is now pursuing custody because she's on "Dancing With the Stars". Eat one, Jon. Eat a phatty...

*I'm Rick James...

*Word is, Mario Lopez had his gal to go get lipo, a boob job & a personal trainer before she was able to go public with him. How in the HELL you gon' go make her tighten up and YOU got a Doug Funnie nose?!?

*Speaking of Doug...*sings* "Banging on a trashcan, strumming on a streetlight...playing on my banjo"...

Until next time...make sure you got a stash of Anaconda Malt Liquor. It's the only malt liquor to be approved by the United States Government.



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