Where are the GOOD Black Men? aka-Time to Piss Off the Neighbors!

MAN! It's been a LONG time since I wrote anything! I don't really know why, but we ain't worrying about the past! Let's proceed in this general cardinal direction.

First of all...Hello!

Second of all...I'm accepting donations for steak.

Now, on to my note...

WELP! I was listening to Tom Joyner yesterday and Jacque Reid had a gentleman on her segment who had written a book titled "The Denzel Principle: Why Black Women Can’t Find A Good Black Man" by Jimi Izrael. Within a short period of time, I could tell that Jacque did NOT agree nor receive one word that Jimi said. From what I gathered in his short (and highly interrupted) segment, he stated that this book was written from HIS experiences and that he was sharing HIS opinions. Jimi also stated that in his two failed marriages, both women expressed to him that he should be more like Denzel.


He also stated that statistics show that 42% of Black women are unmarried, but felt that this number wasn't an accurate depiction. His logic was simple: this number didn't account for those Black women who weren't ready for marriage, those who didn't WANT to be married, and those who don't even LIKE men. From that point on, he could barely get a word in edgewise. I was texting my butt off trying to get Jacque to stop interrupting him, but hey, I got Cellular South...

...they probably just got that text today...

So at the end of Jimi's segment, I don't think there was much light shed on the issue. Any and every single thing he said got shot down and Jacque appeared to be offended. She even got on J. Anthony Brown and said that he doesn't even care for Black women.

Which brings me to my note-poo...why is it that when some Black women hear that hard truth, they get pissed smooth off? Seriously?!?

Aight, as a Black woman, I have wondered if good Black men existed. I felt that those of substantial quality just didn't really like my type. I had looked online, I looked out of Memphis (which apparently, EVERYTHING outside of Memphis is better), and after a while, I stopped looking altogether in hopes of letting one fall in my lap.

Well...dammit, one did!

*does the David Ruffin pose*

But that's beside the point...LMAO!

As a Black woman, I have to ask if we've done a good job of making ourselves presentable to the Black man. From what I've seen, done, and heard, it looks like we don't do so damn good. Allow me to break this down:

*The highly successful Black women don't seem to look down for a moment. Not saying you have to go get the dude flipping burgers at Checkers if you're a 6-figure professional, but it seems like when some of us hit a certain level, we can't seem to drop a few G's a year. Granted, you got your own EVERYTHANG and he's on mom's couch...but if he's in college, saving money, paying bills, building credit and respecting you, is he automatically fired for having a Blue Collar with his name sewed on the left pocket?

*Black women want the Black man to do what they can't do for themselves. In other words, Black women want this Brother to cook, clean, take care of OUR kids by ANOTHER man, pay our bills, make long money and own an SUV...but said Black woman has an unkept home, can't/won't cook, doesn't care for HER kids, never pays bills on time and lives check to check with a hooptie. Sooo, why do you want a man to come save the day FOR you when you can't do it yourself.

*The Black woman dates a good looking Brother wearing khakis and a polo. He's clean cut. His car may not be new, but it's clean and in great shape. He has a steady job. Not one kid or no Baby Mama Drama if he has kids. Got a degree or is in active pursuit of one. He holds doors, he returns calls and his home or apartment is immaculate. Said Black woman calls said girlfriend and says "giiiirl, that boy is GAY"!

I could go on, but I rather hear what YALL have to say about that too...

Oh, but Brothers...you should have a sit down and listen too...because yall ain't all innocent either! LMAO! I know how some of us Sisters can be, so I don't place all blame squarely on your shoulders. I know that we don't give you a fair chance but you don't always make that easy.

*Some Brothers want a woman's undivided attention and affections. You want her to go with you wherever. You want her to cook for you and clean your house. You like her to answer your phone calls and texts. You want her to give herself to you sexually in the ways that YOU love and you want her to keep herself up in the ways that first turned you on. Yet, you don't want to give her a serious commitment...

*Yall lie when the truth will do! (Sisters do too...) Granted, Sisters can put pressure on a man, but be man enough to admit what you can't do!!! You can't pay for Friday's date, then be honest! Either she'll foot the bill or she'll cancel. Either way, you'll see what kind of woman you are dealing with.

*If you aren't trying to be a daddy, then you should be the first one breaking out Trojans...

..hopefully Magnums...*cough*

*If you don't see her as your wife, stop giving her the title of "Wifey". And for DAMN sure don't date her for years because she's starting to get that idea of the next step while you're enjoying the benefits of being with her. It only takes a year to know if you see another year. By year two or three (unless you and her have an agreement of another persuasion) you know if this is your wife or your future ex-girlfriend.

Alas, the whole Good Black Man/Good Black Woman battle will wage on for many more years, with one party swearing the other is more at fault than the other. Men will say we pressure them. Women will say you aren't serious about commitment. Men will say we expect too much and women will say you don't even apply yourselves. In the end, Black women, we can't get mad when we hear what we don't want to hear. When Brothers tell us that we don't make ourselves presentable, we can either receive it or move on.

Oh and one last thing:

This same thing applies if you date outside your race. Not all White women are submissive and not all White men are gentlemen. Don't EVEN live by those assumptions.

*Share your input*


jimi said…
I think its a nuanced conversation. Thanks for your interest in keeping it going.

All my best,



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