T.E.N. Entertainment Mess for 5/1/09
It's the first of the month! Wake up, wake up, wake up!!!
I got a few tidbits worth talking about since I ain't talked about anything since King got kilt.
Let's see what we got on the block today...
*After a few years o' marriage, Kelis is filing for a divorce from Nastradamus. The chick is 7 months along and apparently, she's citing the Irreconcilable thingy as the situation. I'm kind of hurt...she went through all that trouble to wear that green ass dress and now she's about to hoof it. She's seeking joint custody for the unborn seed, so at least she isn't playing dirt-like. I'm a little hurt though...she gave me hope that an odd mofo like myself could get hitch-ed.
*Speaking of "You Owe Me", here's Mel Gibson and the chick with the 450 MEELION dollar Nether-Regions...Oksana. (She doesn't get boldface lettering because she ain't relevant enough). At any rate, this is the reason why Mel's wife is hoofin' it. I'm sorry, I can't condone this situation...not because I'm so holy and such, but because ain't NO loving worth half a BEELION dollars! NONE! Now, I would like to proclaim myself as the Resident Owner of the "Bad Motherf**ker" Wallet, I am NOT worth $450 million bones...sheeit.
*Ellen Pompeo is pregnant. That could possibly play a part in future "Grey's Anatomy" episodes next season...hmmm....maybe a McBaby?!? Wokka, wokka, wokka!!!
*For the nine people who haven't seen it, here's Rihanna's newer tattoo...a gun. I would get some more pics of it, but her tattooist Bang-Bang specifically copyrighted it, so go look him up on MySpace yoself. Uh Oh, I feels another Nas reference coming on..
"WOKE UP THIS MORNIN'...GOT YOSELF A GUN!"
*The World's Biggest Pimp, Nadya Suleman got a new tat too. She has an Angel surrounded by 14 stars. Of course, cameras followed her on said journey. Now, I'm thinking to myself...who in the Blue Hell left the gate open? I mean, you ain't got NO yob, you got 14 kids, and you get another tattoo before I do. Beech.
*Um, Rick Fox and Eliza Dushku are dating. I KNOW RIGHT?!?
*This is allegedly a pic of Larry Wachowski, who is supposedly living as Lana. Apparently, since the failure of "Speed Racer", he is deciding to be a woman since someone said "only a bitch could make a movie that bad". Wokka, wokka, wokka!
(Ducks tomatoes yet again)
*Kanye is going to be a rapper named Kenny West on "The Cleveland Show". Methinks that should be interesting. I'm no meteorologist, but it's raining bitches...
*Erm, they tryna make a Milli Vanilli movie. Details to come.
*Here be a pic from "Iron Man II. It's due to take place six months after Brother Stark comes out as Iron Man. Here''s a little known fact: Tony Stark's whole name is Anthony Edward Stark...
My dad's whole name is Anthony Edward Wicks. (Dad was here first, though).
Until next time, don't take no wooden nickels, don't let it make you no bitch, and don't let that swine take you down...